NFP Awareness Week: Non-religious reasons to use NFP/FAM

We’ve spent this week talking a bit about NFP/FAM… the basics, what it can help with, how it works, etc. One of the biggest misconceptions that I have heard from people is that it’s only for Catholics/ overly religious couples, but NFP/FAM is for anyone who wants to use it.

So, I took the question to a group of women who all practice some form of NFP/FAM and I asked the question:

“What are some non-religious reasons that YOU use NFP/FAM?” and here are their answers:

  • I like the fact that I am not putting extra hormones into my body
  • It gives me a tremendous sense of Body Awareness… I know what my body is doing and why.
  • My charts showed that I had a short luteal phase and that’s why we couldn’t get pregnant.
  • It has helped me to find treatments to restore my body’s functions, rather than just covering up the symptoms of my PCOS.
  • My husband and I don’t get bored with sex, because after a period of abstinence, we can’t wait to connect in that way!
  • I am not funding “Big Pharma.” Looking at it another way, I am not paying someone else to have the ability to have sex with my husband.
  • I have a heart condition and hormonal Birth Control could kill me.
  • Condoms= biological waste and more trash in our landfills
  • My cycle is irregular and that’s OK. I don’t have to rely on a quick fix with a pill.
  • Hormonal Birth Control had a negative effect on my moods. I almost felt bipolar.
  • I can wear white pants without fear because I KNOW when my period WILL start.
  • There is something pretty cool about knowing why certain things happen, like mucus changes.
  • I have the peace of mind that I will not be unknowingly causing an abortion
  • Sex feels weird with condoms
  • DVT, blood clots and breast cancer risk increases with the use of HBC.
  • I don’t want to end up as part of a lawsuit. Have you seen the allegations agains “YAZ?”
  • My charts helped us (me and my physician) determine that I was not producing enough progesterone to sustain a pregnancy. We are now expecting our first!
  • Our family has switched to a “Paleo” diet for health reasons. It would be weird to take hormones when trying to be healthier.
  • I am allergic to copper and latex.
  • It’s simple and non-hormonal.

So there you have it. A quick snap shot as to why some couples have chosen the non-hormonal/ non-IUD route to family planning. I hope you enjoyed this series. I was worried about what to write about next week, but then I realized… Next week starts:

World Breastfeeding Week!!

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Tomorrow is our last day! We’ll talk about some non-religious reasons to switch to NFP/FAM!

 

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NFP Awareness Week: Lactational Amenorrhea/ Postpartum Charting

When I asked for ideas for this week, quite a few ladies wanted to know more about Lactational Amenorrhea and Postpartum Charting. So, here we go!

 

Postpartum Charting

I contacted a pair of NFP (Billings and STM) teachers I know and asked them for their thoughts on Postpartum Charting. Here are their main things to consider.

As with the rest of this series, please understand that this is in no way a substitute for an NFP/FAM class and for instruction with a certified instructor.

  • It’s good to begin before your first menses. Some women don’t think they need to start charting until their menses returns, but it’s possible to ovulate prior to the first menses (although this is less likely if you are exclusively breastfeeding and <6 months post-partum, it is possible.) 
  • Some women like to begin charting again after lochia has finished. Others prefer to wait until they observe some signs of rising fertility, such as fertile-type mucus, before beginning.
  • When you’re making/charting mucus observations, be aware that if you observed soon after nursing the lubrication breastfeeding stimulates could be mistaken for fertile mucus.
  • Chart all bleeding, but not all bleeding is menses. There’s no scientific standard for determining the first menstrual bleed post-partum. As a rule of thumb, a menses should have days of medium or heavy bleeding, not just light bleeding or spotting, and it should have a crescendo-decrescendo pattern. But trumping the rule of thumb is whether the woman feels like it is her period or not. So just to stop and question yourself when noting bleeding. Does this feel like a period to me? If it does, the woman should start another chart. But if she feels it was just spotting (breakthrough bleeding) she can continue the current chart.
  • Post-partum charting requires patience and the charting equivalent of thick skin. Before the first ovulation, temps can be highly variable, but you should still see a clear sustained rise after the first ovulation. And about 1/3 of women may have mucus signs that don’t correlate so well with their hormonal fertility status, usually with lots of mucus caused by breastfeeding hormonal fluctuations. So it can help to work with an instructor to help distinguish details and interpretation if you’re unsure.
  • The first cycle after the return of menses is typically longer than usual, so requires more patience with abstinence, but usually has a shorter luteal phase.
  • As a STM instructor our clients don’t start a new chart postpartum until they confirm it’s true menses through a qualifying temp shift. They may start new charts for organization, labeling them Chart1, chart 1a, chart1b, etc but that’s all. 
  • After the first 56 days, postpartum, all bleeding is considered fertile until a temp shift is confirmed and legitimate AF is known.
  • A benefit of charting earlier vs waiting is that if you do have a basic infertile pattern (BIP) it’s easier to establish that early on vs once your hormones start fluctuating more. It can really save on unnecessary abstaining later on.
  • The first temp shift can be rather weak so don’t hesitate to keep your instructor on speed dial for any questions you need clarity on.
  • It’s normal for cycles to be prolonged pre-ovulation and shorter then normal post-ovulation for as many as 6 or so cycles once cycling does return.
  • Working with your instructor is really important. For some methods the rules available to you can change depending on your fertility category. For instance with Northwest Family Services (NWFS,) there is a slightly different mucus patch type rule available for women who are in the first 12 weeks with “intensive breastfeeding” vs after that point and breastfeeding. Regardless it’s a good time to stay in close contact with someone trained if at all possible.

Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM)

The following information about LAM comes from Breastfeeding Answers Made Simple (Mohrbacher) pgs. 495-498

Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM) is a temporary NFP method that does not require abstinence and has been found to be at least 98% reliable during the first 6 months postpartum in studies around the world. LAM consists of breastfeeding rhythms that provide more that a prolonged period of natural infertility.

For LAM to be effective, the mother must answer “NO” to three specific questions:

1. Have your menses returned? (Menses defined as two consecutive days of bleeding after 8 weeks postpartum or a vaginal bleed the mother considers a menses.)

2. Are you supplementing (with formula or via bottle) regularly or allowing long periods without breastfeeding either day or night?

3. Is your baby more than 6 months old?

When a mother can answer NO to all three questions, she has less than a 2% chance of pregnancy. When a mother’s answer is YES to any of the three questions, she should begin using another method of family planning.

The key to suppression of fertility through breastfeeding is frequent breastfeeding, day and night. The mother can rely on LAM with confidence when she breastfeeds exclusively (Baby receives only mother’s milk and no other liquids or solids,) or almost exclusively (along with breastfeeding, baby receives no more than two mouthfuls daily of other foods, drinks, and/or vitamins/minerals,) at least until her menses return, her breastfeeding pattern changes, or her baby turns 6 months old.

LAM was originally limited to 6 months because this is when introduction of other foods is recommended. But if a mother’s menses has not returned, solids are given after the baby breastfeeds (or delayed past 6 months), and the mother does not go without breastfeeding for longer than 4 hours during the day and 6 hours at night, very few pregnancies occur.

Personally, my menses returned with DD1 at around 4 months postpartum, whereas with DD2, my menses was delayed until she was closer to 14 months. Both girls were exclusively breastfed, and solids were delayed until closer to 10 months with both girls. The big difference between the two girls was the frequency of night nursing. We didn’t start bedsharing until having DD2, and she literally nursed all night long. She would attach and stay attached.

 

Your turn! What has your experience been with LAM or postpartum charting? Do you switch from one method to another when breastfeeding or postpartum?

Thank You to Mikayla and Kristin for the postpartum charting info!!

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Tomorrow is our last day! We’ll talk about some non-religious reasons to switch to NFP/FAM!

 

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NFP Awareness Week: Seven Quick Takes: Vol. 42- Talking to Husbands about NFP

One of the common questions I get about FAM/NFP is how to get your (doubting) husband on board. Some ladies have husbands who either learn about the method first or are not so much doubting Thomases, but for the rest of us:

1.

Present him with the (secular) facts. Using a straight-up Catholic argument was not going to work with my husband. He and I are in differing spots on our faith journey. If yours is like this, do your research on the secular facts, make a powerpoint, write up a report or present an oral presentation. This was the method I used when I was first researching STM. My husband is very logical and facts orientated, so I found the statistics comparing condoms, HBC and STM and essentially prepared a report and talked about the facts. Yes, we are nerds in love.

2.

Sign up for an intro class and make it part of a date-night. If the archdiocese or NFP teacher in your area offers NFP classes (whatever method you are most curious about,) sign up for the intro class (tell him, of course) and couple it with coffee and pastries afterward to digest/ discuss. Who can turn down a date night… with pastries?!

3.

Help him come to the logical conclusion. If the Pill/ IUD/ condoms are causing you physical pain/ negative effects, tell him. Logically, as your partner, he will want to help you avoid discomfort and may come to the conclusion that the status quo is not working. This was part of our journey. We knew that  hormonal Birth Control was making me bat-shit crazy during the month, and as I have a latex sensitivity, lambskin condoms were costing us an arm and a leg (and we were not “together” often as there are only 3 in a pack for $9!) Then we were introduced to STM by a friend…

4.

Be honest, about everything.  If you have been a contracepting couple and are used to “sex on demand” (under normal circumstances) and want to switch to NFP/FAM, you and your husband should be clear that there may be periods of time where intercourse is not possible (if you are trying to avoid and are not planning on relying on barrier methods.) It will be hard as right around ovulation, you (the woman) will start expressing chemicals called “copulins” will make you more desirable to your mate than any other time of the month. When your male detects these copulins, his testosterone will increase and he will begin to secrete androsterones, making him more attractive to you (and it repels women who aren’t ovulating.) If you normally have a lower sex drive, you will find it increasing the closer you get to ovulation. Your lips will flush, your pupils will be slightly more dilated and you will have a glow to you. All of these are physical reactions to estrogen, created to make you more attractive as you are approaching your most fertile time.

5.

Figure out the cost-benefit analysis. Your typical NFP/FAM class has some start up costs. Books cost money. Thermometers cost money. Charting Apps can cost money. But, once those start-up costs are complete… that’s it! You should not have to spend anything more on your FAM/NFP. If you are on birth control and it is costing you $30/month, that’s $360 a year! If you are on that birth control for 30 years… $10,800. A 36-pack of (latex) condoms is around $30. If you are together 2x/week, you are buying 2.6 boxes of 36 packs/ year… around $80. For 30 years: $2400 (plus a ton of trash.) If you have to use lambskin: $40/pack of 12… so 8 boxes a year: $320… for 30 years: $9600. Without insurance, and IUD can cost anywhere from $210- 800. (with insurance, you will usually still pay your normal office co-pay.)It can really add up!

6.

If all else fails (and you are Catholic,) lay it all out there. I would really only use this as a worst case scenario because ideally, your spouse should be a little receptive to you as his bride. If you are a practicing Catholic, please know and understand that hormonal contraceptives/ barrier methods are seen as a mortal sin w/in our faith. Many couples will cite a “use your conscience” clause, but honestly… the CCC is pretty clear on this. And if he’s still not open, just tell him (as another reader did,) “I love you, but I am not going to hell for anyone, even you.” (If you are not Catholic, that might work, but probably not. For the record, for that couple it worked; he was willing to learn more.)

7.

Pray and wait. Lucky for all of us, you don’t have to be Catholic or even religious to pray. The word “prayer” has roots in “to ask.” So pray and wait. Talk about it when it is comfortable, but do not hound him. Plant the seed and let it grow.

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Be sure to head over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

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