I took the girls to a national chain market that specializes in not-so-processed foods for lunch today. You most likely know which market I am talking about… they have an amazing hot and cold bar! Anyway, as the girls were picking out their goodies, I noticed what we had all chosen:
Dolmas (rice wrapped in grape leaves)
I started thinking about my own dietary habits since moving here to California… very little meat, dairy and wheat. Hmmm… it looks like I’ve inadvertently become a gluten-free vegan, right?
Not so much.
While it is true that my fruit and veg intake has increased a ton and my animal product consumption has decreased a ton, I am not going to make some declaration of veganism. Why?
Because I am afraid of commitment and I am afraid to fail.
Think about it. Once I make a declaration of being a gluten-free vegan, that means I have to stick to it. And we all know what happens when you have new rules and regulations to stick to. (If you are not sure, ask any faithful Catholic on days of abstinence.) When you “know” you can’t have something, the more you want it. I could (and have) gone weeks and weeks, not wanting honey or meat or eggs, and I haven’t even realized it. But the minute I say to those around me, “I am now gluten-free and vegan” you know I am going to want a big, fat, cheeseburger (animal-style) from In-and-Out Burger! With a strawberry shake on the side. And, heaven forbid if I “fail” and have a piece of chicken, there is the issue of being caught and questioned! Maybe I just prefer to live my gluten-free vegan tendencies in private, knowing that if I decide that lamb kabobs for Easter is a good idea, I only have to answer to myself and not feel guilty about it! (That, and my intestinal tract revolting against me!)
Guilt is a funny thing. After all, it’s thought that guilt is just a human reaction to doing something that you know is wrong. But there is nothing wrong with consuming and wearing animal products, is there (ok, other than the inhumane treatment of animals?) So, the guilt is not so much feeling badly because I somehow failed, but rather being caught at failing. (Please keep in mind that I struggle immensely with issues with pride.)
So, am I a gluten-free vegan. Nope. But I will say that I’m a big, fat, chicken. No pun intended.